"A customer said they wouldn't even eat there at Subway anymore because of my past work and said that if I wasn't fired then they would boycott the store. Maybe I should take a stand and boycott their store too if they can't let people's privacy be treated right. I should have the right to work anywhere I can and it isn't right or fair that people can keep me from working simply because of a "gay" issue. If a girl did what we do it would probably be ok.. and if a guy does straight porn.. he is bragged about. When I do gay porn, I feel a bit lynched for the rest of my life."

I fail to see what is "private" about appearing in porn, but we'll let that pass; certainly he has a right to self-expression. Subway, too, have a 'right' to guard their reputation and maintain minimum standards of ethics and staff quality.

There is a lesson, though, for many of us that appearing in porn can harm our potential future careers. It may be a giggle but it does not pay too well and it could harm future earnings. Best stay away.

Today was the first workshop/meeting for the models and designers. We spent the first half of the day practicing runway walks individually and as groups. The seond half of the day involved a session in which we discussed privilege and then the introduction of the models to their designers and some fittings. I was really suprised and disappointed with how the second half of the day went. Before I explain why, I want to say I still really appreciate the B&tB folk and had mad love for the event itself. That said...

The leader of the social justice session began by asking the group what they thought "privilege" meant. A lot of people talked about honor and how privilege was a gift, and then some others talked about it as unearned assets, conferred invisible dominance (big ups peggy mcintosh). To help explore the latter defintion, we were asked to answer six sections of eight true or false questions. If the statement made was true, you added a point, it false, you added nothing. Each section concered an aspect of social identitty. They included: (dis)ability, sex, socioeconomic class, race, size, and sexuality. The statements we were judging were something like this: If I turn on the TV, I can see people of my size or body shape represetned; I can be relatively certain that if I recieve a promotion, it isn't  to fulfill a "race quota"; and I do not have to expalin or justify my sexual choices to my friends, family, etc. Generally, folks who had low scores were not privileged in those categories and folks with high scores accessed privilege as members of the dominant or normative group. 

When we had tallied scores, we discussed each section individually. The leader would ask those with 0-2 scores ot standup, then sit down. Then she'd ask those with 3-5 scores to do the same, and finally those with 6-8 scores. While in some instances, this served to make very visible* the ways in which privilege was distributed along size and sex lines, it also created a kind of involuntary outing in terms of sexuality, disability, and class. In terms of race, when black folks stand up as non-recipients of privilege, people sort of nod: this is expected. I think the interesting bit about race sections is when seemingly white folks stand up and reveal that "people of color" covers more than blackness. Invisible race and ethnic identities (first nations, middle eastern, etc) become visible. 

What I really wanted to talk about though, was how asking people with low sexuality scores to stand up was essentially an outing activity. While all of them were outing activities in one way or another, coming out to a group of strangers about who you may or may not sleep with seems more loaded to me, perhaps only because I guard my sexual identity and trust it with only those I trust. My body cannot be invisible in its fatness, and my name inevitably gives away my so-called race, and with that certain class assumptions are made. In this way, these aspects of my identity are almost immediately legible. My sexuality however, remains for most a mystery and I prefer that for any number of reasons, perhaps some of them homophobic in their own way. So, when the group leader asked who had 0-2 scores in sexuality, and I was the only person who stood up, I became relatively uncomfortable. That discomfort increased when I listened to people I was now "out" to and whom I would work with, boldy assert their homophobia through statements like "Lesbians don't give up when you tell them "no"; homosexuals were abused by a member of the opposite sex as children and turned to same-sex partners because of trauma; people become bored with sex, and the weak ones start experimenting with same-sex folks; and finally, there is only GAY and STRAIGHT, nothing in between or outside.These comments went mostly unchecked though largely that seemed to be about time. Although, there's always this odd moment of "respecting everyone's right to speak" which alienates and makes uncomfortable a whole host of people. This is why I'm selective about who I come out to. I have very little desire to become the "gay" that some homophobe idiot can claim to know. The person who people are suprised by, because I'm relatively femme. The person who they now reconsider from being friendly, funny, and outgoing to creepy and predatory. Because according to what happened in that room, I was abused, "turned" gay, and won't take NO for an answer. Thank you. These were things I didn't know about myself. 

I recognize too, that in NOT coming out, I access privilege in any number of ways. Passing and covering allow a great deal of freedom and legitimacy (in the classroom, for example) that I wouldn't otherwise have if I were visibly queer. In the classroom especially, I try to come out at opportune times, when I can use my body, my race, or my sexuality in a teaching capacity. And the process of coming out I balance with the understanding that despite how well my friends might know me, when I first meet people, I'm actually a shy and private person. Indeed, I think some of my friends would agree that I have continued to be rather private well into our friendships. So I guess, ultimately, I'm concerend and disappointed that what could have been a really energizing and thoughtful discussion became (though not entirely) an excercise in othering. I just wanted more. I wanted to locate a community of down ass people instead of feeling angry and annoyed that I naively thought I could find that community. If not B&tB, where else? I'm just sad that I try to put myself out there, become involved with something that doesn't reek of ivory and end up feeling like a jerk. 

Although the show is very much about different kinds of beauty, of beauty across these various axes of identity, I thought it was odd that the designers in my group all brought clothing samples that were made for pretty small folks, despite the fact that the designers themselves supposedly selected the models they wanted to work with (I say supposedly because I have a fear that my group was just the last round of people that no one else wanted-why wouldn't anyone want me? I can be so cute under proper circumstances). And despite the fact that one of the designers in my group was larger herself. My questions, then, are: If you don't even design clothes for yourself, then who are you desgining for? And, in a show about diverse beauty, why did the designers (in my group, at least) make clothes for the normative body?

Finally, and this is easily the most selfish and shallow of my comments, I'm really bummed that my designers' aesthetics are very different from my own. I'm not a jeans and dress sort of girl, and though I enjoy comfort and appreciate that "earth-toe" (thanks, anne) look, it's entirely not mine, and not one I tend to be comfortable in. Put me in a formal over a shift dress anyday--that's how arabs do. Le sigh. I think that's probably enough. I want to stress again that I still think the show will be amazing and I'm going to try really hard to maintain my enthusiasm about it. I think the organizers and designers are really cool people and this post, while sounding a lot like a rant or attack, isn't one. And even if it is, it isn't directed at the leader of the session, the designers or the organizing crew. If that disappointment is directed anywhere, it's toward myself for continuing to think people will suprise you, and then at people for continuing to suprise me in the worst ways.

*I am cognizant of the ableist leanings in "visbility", but since those were the conventions of the excercise, that's the language I'm using.

You will move on in your discussion to talk about sexuality, race. You will draw parallels between the constructions in these "truths." You will explain that while "God said so" might work for your pastor, it is not a well-reasoned argument in the classroom. You will talk about discrimination, privilege, inequality, hate crimes. You will make jokes with your students about Kanye West, the "gay" agenda, abstinence only education. 

Then, two days away from the end of a class you feel is going really well, a class in which you have tackled serious issues, and have succeeded, at least sometimes, in helping students discover a new perspective and reconsider what they knew to be true, you will casually mention Thomas Beatie, a pregnant transgender man. 

You are unprepared for the repsonse, the sheer hostility such a figure provokes. You are caught so off guard that your breath is literally knocked out of your lungs, and you can feel, if someone says one more hateful thing, you might scream, or worse, cry. You rally as best you can, trying to remind students what you've been doing for the past six weeks. You remind them to question their knee jerk reactions, probe as to why they feel as they do. What are they afraid of? What is motivating them? What are they trying to protect? You try your very best to be level--to avoid "going off" or responding out of sheer pain and rage, because you know that such a repsponse is immediately discredited. You remind them they cannot possibly understand what it means to be Beatie--that his life has very likely not been fun and fancy free. That he probably didn't just wake up one morning and decide he didn't like boobs or periods and decided to take care of that. That he didn't later decide he wanted to go back to "being a woman" by having a kid. That he doesn't just get to have whatever he wants, whenever, how he wants it: as though being a transman and carrying a child is for kicks, just to show he can do it, or worse, just to piss you off. You can't know, you tell them. 

When I got home, I wanted to call you. I wanted to say:

Today, today I fought for us. I fought for you. I do this all the time, but today I felt you with me. Today those tears unshed were yours. Today the control I exerted was for you, for me, for what we had, and what I hope we can have again. I don't mean this to say I was fighting for our relationship, because that is over. I mean to say I was fighting for a world where people like you and I could be in love and have a life and just fucking be. 

And when this happens, when this day happens, and I come home, and I cannot call you, I realize this fight, this fight that I have fought a 1,000 times and will fight a 1,000, 000 more--I am losing this fight, as I lost the one for our relationship. In this, as in myself and us, I have failed.

Now I've mentioned before his slight confusion over his sexuality. I've known this for years, my mother knew even before I was born & honestly, it's never really been an issue. Until now. So, what I may not have mentioned is the fact he has a young man (22 years old) from the Philippines coming over to stay with him in November. My father's wife knows & is fine with it - as I would hope so since he will be staying in her house. In-fact, while we're on her, I may as well shock you all by saying again how she can email him but not me. Yes I know, shock horror.

So this guy is in the process of applying for a Visa to come here. Apparently all of his friends have been telling him not to come. My father could "murder him, traffic him, rape him, anything!". My dad tells me this as though it's blasphemy, to which I replied that those were the exact words he used when Bear & I were planning to meet for the first time.

Anyway, the point of this post? This evening, my father tells me the following:

[22:19:36] -----@btinternet.com says:
I got a really good deal on travel to London where we'll stay with Ian and Nick and it's only £14 train fare each way
[22:20:04] -----@btinternet.com says:
but I had to book right away and take the dates offered which are 7th to 15th November
[22:20:13] -----@btinternet.com says:
so I will miss your last week here

Well shit me a coconut, isn't that a fathers love in action right there.

Obviously he isn't bothered by the notion that I'll be living in America & won't be coming back any time soon. It's fucking unbelievable with these people I swear, they are so out of touch with reality & with me. I'm speechless, I mean, what the hell am I supposed to even say to this?

I mean he's going on about some Muslim guy in the fucking Philippines who's angling for a ticket & a job here so he doesn't get "stoned to death if his homosexuality is found out" - his words, not mine by the way so don't hold me to that. But really, is he coming over for a holiday or is my father fucking adopting him?!!

My father is supposed to be thousands in debt, cannot afford the airfare to come to my wedding & wants me to apologize to his wife because it causes him "undue stress". Well you know what, evidently he can pony up for this kid, fly him over & pay the bills while he's here, but can't even be there for me on my last week here, even when we had our own plans!

So fuck him. Fuck it. I'm done.

Despite the injuries, Vaughn called 9-11 then followed his attackers, eventually pointing out the men for the police and leading to one arrest.

“I would have never in a million years thought that something this horrible would happen there,” said Vaughn, referring to Chelsea, the neighborhood known as a gay hub. “I know many New Yorkers can relate when I say that our city streets hold what many of us believe are a safe haven for gays—a place where we can be ourselves and not ‘stand out.’” Vaughn concludes that witnesses are more involved when the attack is racially motivated than they are if they witness an attack on someone who is gay.

Sedat Cagatay, a 20-year-old white male from Staten Island, was arrested and charged with assault and aggravated harassment as a hate crime.

The Blade then report on a number of incidents in recent times.

Previous Thing That Bugged Me

Previous Topics:  Feral - Indie Music - Sunrises - Fever

This is all while they were talking about how Democrats are sexist and mean.

HANNITY: By the way, I have what has to be -- and I have warned you that these attacks are only, only going to get worse, although they're not going to work and it's all going to backfire. And this has got to be the most hysterical reaction to Sarah Palin's home-run speech. Get this. The National Organization of Liberal Women is charging that Sarah Palin -- now, you better sit down for this -- Sarah Palin is really a man.

I'm -- this report in the Politico, spokesman for the National Organization for Women, "noting Palin's opposition to abortion rights and" her "support of other parts of the social conservative agenda," told the Politico, quote, "She's more a conservative man than she is a woman on women's issues. Very disappointing."

So that's the official liberal feminist position. Sarah Palin is not a woman. She's a man. Now, folks, these people are just -- they're not connecting. You know, Gloria Steinem -- well, the only thing she shares with Hillary is a chromosome. You know, folks, fear has now literally taken over the Democratic Party. Someone needs to start -- you know what? There's Happy Housewives, they were quoted in The New York Times, we're going to have -- maybe we'll have them on tomorrow to counter this nonsense.

But anyway, let's get to our phones. I see Mark is in Washington, D.C. Uh-oh. Is this him? Is that --

LEVIN: Dr. Hannity?

HANNITY: Dr. Levin. Thank me. How am I?

LEVIN: It's not the National Organization of Liberal Women. It's the National Organization of Ugly Women.

[...]

HANNITY: And let me tell you something, Mark. And you were very consistent in this, in that you said that the vice-presidential choice was going to be very key for your support, and I know that -- I heard a little bit of your show yesterday. I can't listen as much as I want, obviously, because I'm here. But -- and you were slamming away.

They have tried to destroy this woman. They have assassinated her character. They have asked her harder questions about her 17-year-old daughter in five days than they have about Barack Apollo Obama in 19 months. Apparently Obama took a shot at me again. So I'm glad -- I guess obviously he's not too happy with the Stop Obama Express. He did it earlier today. We haven't gotten a copy of the audio yet.

LEVIN: Obama's obsessed with you.

HANNITY: It's kind of weird, isn't it?

LEVIN: Maybe he's attracted to you.

HANNITY: [laughs]

During the last couple of years we have seen some remarkable moments involving republicans trying to tap that (male) ass!. The larger point is that if you enjoy seeing politicians destroyed by their own hypocrisy, it’s been a very, very good couple of years.

Remember Mark Foley who was caught sending sexually laced, grammatically challenged instant messages and e-mails to teenage boys in the Congressional page program for more than 10 years? All of this while being Chairman of the House Caucus on Missing and Exploited Children and being one of the foremost opponents of child pornography in the Senate. Here he is - "if i were one of these sickos."

For a refreshment on hose IMs please do watch:

Then there is Ted Haggard, leader of the national association of evangelicals, who was paying male prostitutes for sex and snorting crystal meth. A powerful force in the evangelical movement, Haggard participated in weekly meetings with President George Bush and top advisers where he gave spiritual advice. He taught that homosexuality was an abomination and actively lobbied against gay rights.

Here he is bashing gays:

And then admits engaging in homosexual acts:

There are more, but i think you get the point. Do as they SAY not as they DO

 I'm sure the November release of 'Milk' starring Sean Pean as Harvey Milk will have the pentecostals speaking in tongues and handling snakes.

and this was not the first time Larry has battled this issue. back in 1982 he issued a public statement denying it as well

Of course we know what happened to Larry. He pleaded guilty to misdemeanor disorderly conduct in the Hennepin County District Court. He paid more than $500 in fines and fees, and a 10-day jail sentence was stayed. He also was given one year of probation with the court that began on Aug. 8.

But the more serious issue is how he has voted on important civil rights matters like voting yes on a constitutional ban of same-sex marriage and voting no on adding sexual orientation to definition of hate crimes.

There is a lot of symbolism in this movie drawn from natural settings where the very nature of faith is being considered by Brady.  When he meets Clifford (Owen Alabado), and experiences falling in love, Clifford begins to love his complete self.     

The film brings home a message that self acceptance and the coming out process from a perspective of faith are so much bigger than a church or an interpretation of scriptural writings. For Christians, it is in that personal deep soul connection that one has with God where His Love is so much greater than all of us. Basically, God accepts you as a gay person. Accept yourself. 

Brady's coming out process in the end becomes a spiritual journey for him of self acceptance and true faith.

The film’s writing and editing was weak in places which made it drag at certain points. It also inhibited some of the actors’ performances. However, overall it is worth the DVD rental.

Rock Haven Official Movie Site: http://www.rockhavenmovie.com/

• From The Palin Report: "Steamy Details Of Sarah Palin Affair To Hit The Newstands..." [Link]
• From AOL News: "John McCain Is Ruining Sarah Palin's Life [Link]
• From a Craigslist Lunatic: "Sarah Palin had sex with her daughters boyfriend!!" [Link]
• From Rogue Government: "Man Claims Drug Use & Oral Sex With Obama" [Link]
• From Morningstar: "Obama was using cocaine when Palin's husband got DUI" [Link]
• From Vox Popoli: "Michelle Obama Sex Tape" [Link]
• From GLOBE via rense.com: "Obama Caught Up In Gay Murder Scandal" [Link]
• From Pakastan Daily: "Obama Is Not A U.S. Citizen" [Link]
• From The Huffington Post: "John McCain Affair? Links To Female Lobbyist Exposed" [Link]
• From GLOBE, again: "Hunt For Obama Love Child" [Link]
• From a Craigslist moron: "Sarah Palin and Geraldine Ferraro Were Lesbian Lovers" [Link]
• From Scott Ott: "Sarah Palin: Is She Meaner Than Jesus?" [Link]

• Talkin' Some Smack
• All About Josh
• No Homo in Hip Hop
• Lil Wayne and his LOLLIPOP.
• Hiding homophobia on TV but exploiting other discrimination.
• People controlled by an outdated book
• Anyone can be influenced.
• What kind of God do you believe in?
• B. Scott and Theoretical Bullshit
• "I'm not a Christian, I'm a Matt*hew"
• Respect others beliefs. Don't Push it.
• Parents being embarrased to teach their kids about their bodies.
• Everyone is so unhappy with their body.
• A Shout out to the H.N.B.I.P.C. Gramma Shuhnaynay
• Call BBN @ 206-339-8505
• E-mail BBN at boybutternation@gmail.com
• If you have a suicide attempt call 911! PLEASE!

• Talkin' Some Smack
• All About Josh
• No Homo in Hip Hop
• Lil Wayne and his LOLLIPOP.
• Hiding homophobia on TV but exploiting other discrimination.
• People controlled by an outdated book
• Anyone can be influenced.
• What kind of God do you believe in?
• B. Scott and Theoretical Bullshit
• "I'm not a Christian, I'm a Matt*hew"
• Respect others beliefs. Don't Push it.
• Parents being embarrased to teach their kids about their bodies.
• Everyone is so unhappy with their body.
• A Shout out to the H.N.B.I.P.C. Gramma Shuhnaynay
• Call BBN @ 206-339-8505
• E-mail BBN at boybutternation@gmail.com
• If you have a suicide attempt call 911! PLEASE!

• Talkin' Some Smack
• All About Josh
• No Homo in Hip Hop
• Lil Wayne and his LOLLIPOP. 
• Hiding homophobia on TV but exploiting other discrimination.
• People controlled by an outdated book
• Anyone can be influenced. 
• What kind of God do you believe in?
• B. Scott and Theoretical Bullshit
• "I'm not a Christian, I'm a Matt*hew"
• Respect others beliefs. Don't Push it.
• Parents being embarrased to teach their kids about their bodies.
• Everyone is so unhappy with their body. 
• A Shout out to the H.N.B.I.P.C. Gramma Shuhnaynay
• Call BBN @ 206-339-8505
• E-mail BBN at boybutternation@gmail.com
• If you have a suicide attempt call 911! PLEASE!

Don't forget to subscribe to our feed on the side! iTunes feed should be up soon!

Its all right, Times. We already know the Church of England is a homophobic, backward, antiquated Temple of Hatred. Even if most of its faithful flock are not.

If strangers you do not know ask you if you are gay, best not tell them. Best to familiarise yourself with self defence and situation evasion techniques.

Station crossing lines of public decency
Family Party Candidate for Northland, Melanie Taylor, is concerned over The Edge FM competition being held nationwide at 4.30pm today.

The station is encouraging girls to publicly kiss for about 20 seconds, with one girl/girl couple winning a trip to Melbourne to see Katy Perry, singer of the hit song "I kissed a girl and I liked it."

The competition is being promoted on radio and through a text message campaign to young people.

It is another event which further reflects the decline in standards of public decency. The competition is being held in prominent and very public locations throughout the country, at a time when many families and young children could be innocently exposed to these events,says Mrs Taylor.

Now we're talking a bit of harmless innocent fun here, not a public display of full-on naked tribbing. But I guess the Family Party just couldn't resist the chance to dog-whistle to the vile homophobic underbelly of New Zealand society.

And, yes, it was the Family Party I was thinking of when I blogged this a few days ago.

Perhaps Mr Dennis, who is a Family Party candidate and regular commenter here might like to explain to g.blog readers just why people (or is it just girls) kissing in public reflects a "decline in standards of public decency".

France to ask UN for universal decriminalisation of homosexuality
By Tony Grew • September 3, 2008

The French minister of human rights and foreign affairs has confirmed that she will appeal at the United Nations for the universal decriminalisation of homosexuality.

Rama Yade also said that the EU wanted to take the lead in stopping violence against women worldwide.

Until the end of 2008 France will speak for all EU member states at the UN General Assembly, as they hold the rotating Presidency of the European Union.

Earlier this year it was reported that the French initiative on decrminalisation will take the form of a solemn declaration from UN states, rather than a vote in the UN on the matter.

However, Ms Yade said yesterday that France will submit a draft declaration at the UN General Assembly in December. The British government already advocates universal decriminalisation.

She was speaking at 61st Annual Conference of Non-Governmental Organisations at UNESCO headquarters in Paris.

It is the first time in its history that the Conference has been convened outside of New York.

1,700 NGOs associated with the United Nations have gathered for three days of debate held under the banner of the 60th anniversary of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights.

UN General Secretary Ban Ki-moon opened proceedings by satellite link this morning.

More than 80 countries outlaw same-sex relations in all circumstances.

The maximum punishments range from a few years jail to life imprisonment.

In nine countries, or regions of countries, the mandatory punishment for homosexuality is death by execution.

Full Article